The bed had gone cold
Building our own Empire
The bed had gone cold
Building our own Empire
Let’s loosen the strings
Let’s leave it to destiny
THE LOVE IS REAL
IN THIS SURREAL WORLD
It’s been good sharing my thoughts, heart breaks, depression, shit memories, nightmares and all stuffs with WordPress. Its time to leave…. Yes I need to stop looking at her page so that I shall not disturb myself…. Today I got to know she not only moved on but got so close to another guy…. I can’t take this anymore…I can’t see this anymore…. Oh fuck they kissed…. Hugged….
I’ve already said I’m suicidal at times..I don’t wanna risk anymore…
I’m not a good blogger but I’m a Fighter and I need to fight for myself… Fight for my life… So ain’t gonna take this anymore…
Let her be happy with whomever she wants to lead her life…
God bless All.
This time its not the night but the daylight stroke
An emptiness in my heart the hollow created by her dumps
This feeling is permanent I guess
I’m sorry I even feel suicidal at times
DISCLAIMER: THIS ain’t a blog post but words straight outta heart so don’t expect grammar but grudge, hatred, Love, depression and all such extremes.
You changed me the stone I’m Today
You made me the monster I’m Today
You fucked me the screwed up I’m Today
Let me be frank I just can’t even watch porn or let other woman touch me even if it’s a friendly tap on my shoulders , even if I try to… Didn’t tried because I’m lustful as you’d state but trying to be something which I’m not
Being a gentleman didn’t fetch me good but heart breaks
Can’t do anything about it
Because I’m what I’m.
Made myself very clear that no woman can ever touch my heart anymore… There ain’t a heart but just a blood pumping steel engine of mine.
Thanks to you
I’m far long for Lust or love or life or YOU…..
Once Your love made me strong
Your wish were my command
You were my Almighty
You were my Gaurdian Angel
You were my Dhadkan
But then now
Your family FUCKED me hard
Your words killed me softly
And you shall very well accuse me of whatever…. no fucks given
Yes I’ve moved on…
Not to an another woman
Not to a lustful life
Not to be drowned in fun or flirt or whatsoever
Moved on from charming
Moved onto ruffian
Moved on from lovesome
Moved onto loathsome
Moved on from kind
Moved onto arrogance
Moved on from Romeo
Moved onto Rowdy
Moved on from being your Superman
Moved onto be a Wolverine
Moved on from hauling for you
Moved onto loathing
Yes there ain’t going to be another woman in my life after you but pity the one who’d try to be in my life or replace you when the poor one can’t even come close to your shadow.
Most of all I hate myself more than I hate you for being stagnant
So I LOATHE YOU.
My last words to her was “I couldn’t forget you”
But her reply was even better
” F*** Off you Male Pr********”
Irony is she even let her mom say the same. Her Mom who’s the woman whom I respected more then and now I …. Okay lets not talk SHIT.
Around the clock when the Sun is half dressed and the antipodean is still there, I get this breezy soft touch over my forehead.
The hands like a stem of a plant and fingers were so delicate as petals. They would be caressing my dear skin over my head. Neither ruffling nor combing but somewhere in between would be going on over the top tip hair of mine. The Sun kiss shall be dodged by her hair like a blonde blanket. Between the time intervals of the ruffle-combing, my face shall be sweet marked by the early morning dew dropped lips of her.
The faded scent of her yesterday’s cologne shall be eradicated by her morning sweat which masters the very existence of any best cologne of this world. My morning mind tends to wake up, but my heart shall hold it back to outstretch the moment. My body starts to realise the divine place it has been placed over which is not the bed I layed down last night, but the place which I crave to be there forever. I can see the way she looking at me and kissing me with all love without opening my lids.
You know she got the eyes that shall speak lot than my words. I can feel her wish from her eyes which’s my command.
Gradually the reality hits and that’s all just memories I’ve been reliving over and over again… I can’t and I won’t forget those moments with her.
I roared to myself
Yeah we broke up but I shall proudly say nobody could ever love us like we did each other.
then subdued and wept inside.
At the end of every night, I still think about how it could’ve been with you
Look at yourself
Look how far you’ve come
Commend for how much you’ve done
Live for yourself
Live for your purpose
Fond more than the people love you
Calibrate to stretch your limits
Convey the way the Sun carry its Ray
Brace for every single moments yet to reach you
Greet yourself with tiny treats daily
Crusade against the naysayers
Supersize your Livability not your liabilities
Perceive the disparateness between aspiration and inspiration
Step onto next echelon
The only person in any universe who knows you in and out is YOU
Take care of Yourself
She’s the Goddess of beaut herself.
She’s definitely my another Mother.
She’s the eyes of an Angel which act like devil and get straight to my heart melting my chest bones.
She’s one bad-ass woman for others but a cutie sweetie sassy girl for me and just for me.
Okay here it is…
My love didn’t just boom but it slapped me from the mundane life of mine. I just can’t believe till now that I’ve been beloved by this sweetheart, still alive and kicking. I’m going to talk about the first meet the first wave which had hit my boat to the shore of love. There’s been a constant reminder in my “people you may know” tab about this profile. Oh wow that’s a photogenic pose of that princess. The name struck me like a thunder. Her eyes wow that spark-lings. Thought Just got accepted by luck but came to know it’s Destiny. Oh I’m so into that name got her as my babe. Waved a hi and got replies positively which also initiated an intuition that it might be a fake and I confessed it to her which made her so mad at me somehow I managed to ask her out. God that’s a positive reply too. My God I’m going to meet this beautiful woman so you’d say I should’ve nailed it but the fate has other ideas. I made her wait for more than half an hour I dressed so bad everything went south to me but still I made her smile with some of my mischievous acts I made her look me into my eyes I confessed her that I have fallen for her Beauty. I didn’t even know what I ordered my eyes were just on her none other than the princess. We talked many a thing but my focus was on her alone. I don’t want to end this meet soon I was making excuses for not leaving. I even tried meeting her family. Then we had a walk then again the parking lot. I don’t know that parking lot is something going to be the magic place of our relationship. I started my 2-min excuse there and rest is history. We took selfies and I still didn’t take my eyes off my queen. Yes I’ve started addressing her as mine in my head before even knowing whether she’d be there or not. This woman is something who made me do things which I didn’t even tried earlier. She started her bike few meters then she looked back which is not just a look but She got than eyes which went straight to my heart and took it along with her. I stood there for a minute I couldn’t move from that place I started reliving the moment over and over in my mind not in my heart because that’s with her. I didn’t just want to leave the place but want to leave the place with her. I need to feel her face in my palms the very first moment I witnessed her. I want to feel her eye lashes over my face when our eyes met first. I don’t want to say I’m in love but I know I’m in Destiny.
She’s a mix of Jennifer Aniston and Kareena Kapoor.
Whenever I get glimpses of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and Bollywood songs of Kareena I get a strange yet nostalgic feeling in my stomach. Just like when I see my Diva every time.Recently when I get that feeling again when I was watching TV I couldn’t control myself…I went into the restroom and locked myself.. curled my abdomenTightly and started getting goosebumps mixed with depression…deep sorrow… Feeling chocked…. Eyes filled with tears… Veins popping out of my head… Getting drained.. Oh God I couldn’t breatheI just don’t know how am I going to live the rest of my life without my heart?
– I lied to myself
Yes I long to rejoice with you but that ain’t going to happen because things you’ve done has killed me already. Your attrition in my life has changed a lot of things in myself such as the way I look at life, the way I look at love, and the way I dodge myself from women…
So yes I miss you
Yes I cherish our moments
Yes I care for you
Yes I still have feelings for you
But this is it
I don’t want to succumb by your hurts again.
P.S. : Don’t say blogging ain’t my cup of tea because it’s just another way to express myself like maintaining a diary. I stopped maintaing diary since the last pages was written by you and thats it…