Weep of the Beast – Black

The bed had gone cold

I’ve done dried
My lips have made cracks
The divine of the Queen
The blessing of the wild
I need it now the way you kiss my shoulders
Your whispers in my ears make me go mad
Such mad like I can’t even face that ravishing eyes of yours
The quivers I get when you tongue meet my ear lobes
Oh that unending pleasure of ecstacy
The way you place yourself over my chest
I want you to be there for the rest
You always urge to be on top though I win at last
I want you to make it last
Oh daring D
You’re my love indeed
Your thoughts make me go crazy
Your curves make me carves for you
Your body makes me all steamy
Your voice would make me erupt like a volcano who’s been dormant for ages
The lullaby of you by pressing me into your chest letting me breath through between those handful of pleasure blaze
The gaze of yours not letting my face myself
The unethical dreams of mine shall get on fire with you
I miss the feet of my Diva through which I start my hunt
Slowly gaining my place over you
Making you shiver by getting you quivers
Ruling your body like the Atlantis

Building our own Empire

We both be the giver and getter
Until we reach the gutter
I know we can get better
I want to lose myself into the valley of you
Dwelling into the divine of D
Defibrillating my heart by D
Waiting for the D-Day of ours

So long my Love

My harmones were dried as my life
My heart was just a pumping machine
My eyes were just an another device
I saw the pictures
I hear the voice
I see you move
I see you sending kiss
I see you groove for me
I see you bent for me
I see you touch yourself for me
Handful of Lust
Heartful of Love
Mouthful of Words
Mindful of YOU
I felt a pinch of ecstacy of eating you virtually
Holding myself into your chest
Eating them
Kissing them
Lying on like a baby
Placing my ears on your stomach
Hearing our babies who are yet to be formed
Playing with your navel
Squashing your butt
Oh yeah definitely a lot of biting
Going wild like hellfire
Like tiny boy who stepped on a electric wire
Penetrating pleasure to each other
Glued to each other
Sticking together
Kissing your inner thighs
With zero sighs
Holding your hips so tight
I know I’m doing right
Oh you can’t understand my plight
Seeing you like this after a big fight
Oh baby this shall be my every night
Life is so simple and sexy

That’s my perspective and thats how my life was moving
Until I got hit by the pure bliss of sheer love
Of a determined woman
Oh no she’s my strength and weakness
The night we shared at the hospital does feel like yesterday
The first kiss
The first hug at the parking lot
The first smooch
The first sleepover
Everytime I leave the first phrase in my mind would be ” Oh God, she’s one hell of a woman”
Yeeeeeeesss we’re not Perfect
Yeeeeeeesss we broke up
Yeeeeeeesss she started seeing others
Yeeeeeeesss we did loathe each other
Yeeeeeeesss we still loathe each other’s family
Yeeeeeeesss we made billions of blunders
Yeeeeeeesss she did almost went on to another relationship
Yeeeeeeesss we disappointed each other for many a time
Yeeeeeeesss there are more to say about the bad part
But no matter what or how many bad parts are there we know ITS GONNA BE US.
I don’t know whether I’m right or wrong
I know I can’t talk to you again
I know its going to take years to see you
I really don’t think we will get married to each other
I know our family won’t be united
I can’t ditch my family again and so are you
But I know…. No no we know that
The Love is true
The Love is certain
The Bliss is pure
The Heart is sure
The Wait is true
This might be the last blog for real

Let’s loosen the strings

Let’s leave it to destiny



Farewell- Black & Grey

It’s been good sharing my thoughts, heart breaks, depression, shit memories, nightmares and all stuffs with WordPress. Its time to leave…. Yes I need to stop looking at her page so that I shall not disturb myself…. Today I got to know she not only moved on but got so close to another guy…. I can’t take this anymore…I can’t see this anymore…. Oh fuck they kissed…. Hugged….

I’ve already said I’m suicidal at times..I don’t wanna risk anymore…

I’m not a good blogger but I’m a Fighter and I need to fight for myself… Fight for my life… So ain’t gonna take this anymore…

Let her be happy with whomever she wants to lead her life…

God bless All.


Feeling down -Grey

This time its not the night but the daylight stroke

An emptiness in my heart the hollow created by her dumps

Feelings down

Feeling choked

Feeling heartache

Feeling ditched

It’s back


This feeling is permanent I guess

I’m sorry I even feel suicidal at times

Can’t breathe

I Loathe You – Grey

DISCLAIMER: THIS ain’t a blog post but words straight outta heart so don’t expect grammar but grudge, hatred, Love, depression and all such extremes.

You changed me the stone I’m Today

You made me the monster I’m Today

You fucked me the screwed up I’m Today

Let me be frank I just can’t even watch porn or let other woman touch me even if it’s a friendly tap on my shoulders , even if I try to… Didn’t tried because I’m lustful as you’d state but trying to be something which I’m not

Being a gentleman didn’t fetch me good but heart breaks

Can’t do anything about it

Because I’m what I’m.

Made myself very clear that no woman can ever touch my heart anymore… There ain’t a heart but just a blood pumping steel engine of mine.

Thanks to you

I’m far long for Lust or love or life or YOU…..

Once Your love made me strong

Your wish were my command

You were my Almighty

You were my Gaurdian Angel

You were my Dhadkan

But then now

Your family FUCKED me hard

Your words killed me softly

And you shall very well accuse me of whatever…. no fucks given

Yes I’ve moved on…

Not to an another woman

Not to a lustful life

Not to be drowned in fun or flirt or whatsoever

Per se

Moved on from charming

Moved onto ruffian

Moved on from lovesome

Moved onto loathsome

Moved on from kind

Moved onto arrogance

Moved on from Romeo

Moved onto Rowdy

Moved on from being your Superman

Moved onto be a Wolverine

Moved on from hauling for you

Moved onto loathing

Yes there ain’t going to be another woman in my life after you but pity the one who’d try to be in my life or replace you when the poor one can’t even come close to your shadow.

Most of all I hate myself more than I hate you for being stagnant


Last words-Grey

My last words to her was “I couldn’t forget you”





But her reply was even better

” F*** Off you Male Pr********”

Irony is she even let her mom say the same. Her Mom who’s the woman whom I respected more then and now I …. Okay lets not talk SHIT.


Around the clock when the Sun is half dressed and the antipodean is still there, I get this breezy soft touch over my forehead.

The hands like a stem of a plant and fingers were so delicate as petals. They would be caressing my dear skin over my head. Neither ruffling nor combing but somewhere in between would be going on over the top tip hair of mine. The Sun kiss shall be dodged by her hair like a blonde blanket. Between the time intervals of the ruffle-combing, my face shall be sweet marked by the early morning dew dropped lips of her.






The faded scent of her yesterday’s cologne shall be eradicated by her morning sweat which masters the very existence of any best cologne of this world. My morning mind tends to wake up, but my heart shall hold it back to outstretch the moment. My body starts to realise the divine place it has been placed over which is not the bed I layed down last night, but the place which I crave to be there forever. I can see the way she looking at me and kissing me with all love without opening my lids.





You know she got the eyes that shall speak lot than my words. I can feel her wish from her eyes which’s my command.

Slowly I opened my eyes with all excitement and love… She ain’t there at my vicinity I got shocked I started getting up and questing for my Gaurdian Angel.





Gradually the reality hits and that’s all just memories I’ve been reliving over and over again… I can’t and I won’t forget those moments with her.

I roared to myself

Yeah we broke up but I shall proudly say nobody could ever love us like we did each other.

then subdued and wept inside.






At the end of every night, I still think about how it could’ve been with you


Look at yourself

Look how far you’ve come

Commend yourself

Commend for how much you’ve done

Live for yourself

Live for your purpose

Fond yourself

Fond more than the people love you

Calibrate yourself

Calibrate to stretch your limits

Convey yourself

Convey the way the Sun carry its Ray

Brace yourself

Brace for every single moments yet to reach you

Greet yourself

Greet yourself with tiny treats daily

Crusade against the naysayers

Supersize your Livability not your liabilities

Perceive the disparateness between aspiration and inspiration

Step onto next echelon




The only person in any universe who knows you in and out is YOU

Just YOU

Only YOU

Always YOU

Take care of Yourself

My last post about my DivašŸ‘øšŸ¼

She’s the Goddess of beaut herself.

She’s definitely my another Mother.

She’s the eyes of an Angel which act like devil and get straight to my heart melting my chest bones.

She’s one bad-ass woman for others but a cutie sweetie sassy girl for me and just for me.

She gave the best romantic moments of my Life which I shall cherish till my last breath and beyond.
I dunno what’s with you lately don’t think too much… You think the way I look at my Goddess would change? The way I look at my lifeline would change? The way I look at my next mother would change?
I would love to say how it started.

Okay here it is…

My love didn’t just boom but it slapped me from the mundane life of mine. I just can’t believe till now that I’ve been beloved by this sweetheart, still alive and kicking. I’m going to talk about the first meet the first wave which had hit my boat to the shore of love. There’s been a constant reminder in my “people you may know” tab about this profile. Oh wow that’s a photogenic pose of that princess. The name struck me like a thunder. Her eyes wow that spark-lings. Thought Just got accepted by luck but came to know it’s Destiny. Oh I’m so into that name got her as my babe. Waved a hi and got replies positively which also initiated an intuition that it might be a fake and I confessed it to her which made her so mad at me somehow I managed to ask her out. God that’s a positive reply too. My God I’m going to meet this beautiful woman so you’d say I should’ve nailed it but the fate has other ideas. I made her wait for more than half an hour I dressed so bad everything went south to me but still I made her smile with some of my mischievous acts I made her look me into my eyes I confessed her that I have fallen for her Beauty. I didn’t even know what I ordered my eyes were just on her none other than the princess. We talked many a thing but my focus was on her alone. I don’t want to end this meet soon I was making excuses for not leaving. I even tried meeting her family. Then we had a walk then again the parking lot. I don’t know that parking lot is something going to be the magic place of our relationship. I started my 2-min excuse there and rest is history. We took selfies and I still didn’t take my eyes off my queen. Yes I’ve started addressing her as mine in my head before even knowing whether she’d be there or not. This woman is something who made me do things which I didn’t even tried earlier. She started her bike few meters then she looked back which is not just a look but She got than eyes which went straight to my heart and took it along with her. I stood there for a minute I couldn’t move from that place I started reliving the moment over and over in my mind not in my heart because that’s with her. I didn’t just want to leave the place but want to leave the place with her. I need to feel her face in my palms the very first moment I witnessed her. I want to feel her eye lashes over my face when our eyes met first. I don’t want to say I’m in love but I know I’m in Destiny.

She’s a mix of Jennifer Aniston and Kareena Kapoor.

Whenever I get glimpses of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and Bollywood songs of Kareena I get a strange yet nostalgic feeling in my stomach. Just like when I see my Diva every time.
Recently when I get that feeling again when I was watching TV I couldn’t control myself…I went into the restroom and locked myself.. curled my abdomenĀ 
Tightly and started getting goosebumps mixed with depression…deep sorrow… Feeling chocked…. Eyes filled with tears… Veins popping out of my head… Getting drained.. Oh God I couldn’t breatheĀ 
I just don’t know how am I going to live the rest of my life without my heart?
Yes this shall be my last post about her because she will be back soon she shall call you soon...
– I lied to myself

This is me- Black(this is also for you)

Yes I long to rejoice with you but that ain’t going to happen because things you’ve done has killed me already. Your attrition in my life has changed a lot of things in myself such as the way I look at life, the way I look at love, and the way I dodge myself from women…

So yes I miss you

Yes I cherish our moments

Yes I care for you

Yes I still have feelings for you

But this is it

I don’t want to succumb by your hurts again.

P.S. : Don’t say blogging ain’t my cup of tea because it’s just another way to express myself like maintaining a diary. I stopped maintaing diary since the last pages was written by you and thats it…